Reaction Monday: Shonn Greene is a Seoulja.
They just want to be like us. Lighter skin, Levi Jeans, McDonalds and American first names are all something South Koreans are fond of. They like the typical American pop music. And hamburgers – they love hamburgers.
They just want to be like us. Yet, they’re missing one big piece of American culture. You see, the only sign of the National Football League in Seoul, South Korea is a few jersey shops that are littered throughout a stretch of other mom-and-pop retail stores. And South Koreans wouldn’t know who the best football players are, either. Instead, they think Joey Galloway still plays for the Cowboys, that Christian Fauria is on the Redskins and that Selvin Young runs for the Broncos. After all, that’s all these jersey stores had on their shelves.
For those who aren’t aware, I just got back from a 9-day trip to Seoul, South Korea. (That’s why there’s been a lack of content here.) Simply put, it was amazing. The size of the city is hard to comprehend, and the food was – well – about as good as any expensive restaurant you’d find in America.
And while I was on vacation in a country sleeps when America works, I was still able to catch some of the greatest game on Earth. Football clearly hasn’t reached the millions and millions of Seoul residents, but there are bars that cater to Americans who can’t stand to simply watch box scores to see if their home teams win.
But there’s no need to relive Week 5. My analysis wouldn’t be as fair, because my mind was focused on soju rather than statistics. No one really cares about what happened last week anyway, right?
I was able to get my jet lagged self on the couch yesterday to watch a multitude of Week 6 games. And, because I’ve still got the Korean mindset, I decided to add a touch of Seoul to the column this week.
Shonn Greene played like the Seoul subway system.
Powerful, intricate and quick – three words that describe both the public transit in Seoul as well as the Week 6 version of Shonn Greene. I’m fairly certain Seoul’s subway system could’ve scored 6 touchdowns against the Colts, though. Don’t get too excited about Greene. He’s easily one of the least desirable starters at running back in the NFL, and he played against one of the league’s worst rush defenses. If you’re a Shonn Greene owner, this week is the week to sell high. He will never be as valuable as he is right now.
AJ Green is like a Korean Barbeque.
Never heard of a Korean Barbeque? Google it. It’s the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted in my life, and…so is AJ Green? I’m not sure where I’m going with this one, but AJ Green is, without a doubt, the best fantasy football wide receiver in the NFL. The one thing to point out here is that the Bengals’ schedule is going to start to get a lot tougher, so you may want to temper your Green expectations. Even so, he’s a stud each and every week.
The Buffalo Bills are like South Korean store names.
As I said, they want to be like us. And nearly every store name in Seoul has an American equivalent. Do you want to shop at “Brown Show”? How about “Skin Story”?
The Bills don’t make sense. And neither do these store names. One thing is for certain with the Bills, though. You have to start a running back that’s facing them. The fact that the Cardinals – a team ranked 27th in the league in rushing – were able to rush for over 150 yards against the Bills tells you just how bad this defense is and can be.
The Baltimore defense is becoming as lackluster as Korean baseball.
Koreans love baseball, but their league just doesn’t compare to the Major League Baseball. It’s pretty mediocre, just like the defense in Baltimore. Where’s the physical, run-stopping team we’re so used to seeing? With the potential losses of Ray Lewis and Ladarious Webb, games against Baltimore could be like games against New England: high scoring and pass-heavy.
Dez Bryant does things Gangnam Style.
I actually was staying in Gangnam, which is the area of town musician PSY raps about in his international hit “Gangnam Style”. And yes, everyone loves the song there. But for those who aren’t aware, the song is about the lifestyle associated with this trendy part of town. To put it another way, it’s like the Beverley Hills of Seoul.
Dez Bryant, the diva wide receiver that does whatever he feels like doing, is Gangnam. He’s good and can put up some big games like he did yesterday, but at the end of the day, it’s just a façade. What Dez Bryant really needs to start doing is not letting the hype and media get to him and play at the level we all know he’s capable of playing. While his fantasy numbers looked great yesterday, the Cowboy receiver still hasn’t reached WR1 status even though he has WR1 talent.
Aaron Rodgers’ got Seoul.
Just like the size of Seoul, Aaron Rodgers came up big last night against Houston. It’s safe to say that the Packers’ quarterback is back to “normal” after facing strong defenses over the course of the first three games of the season. The Packers’ backs were to the wall, and that’s when Rodgers plays best. You saw it last night.
Oh, and how about James Jones and Jordy Nelson? Jones is playing at the highest level we’ve ever seen him play, and with Greg Jennings out, he’s becoming a must play. Jordy Nelson came back from the dead and grabbed three touchdowns of his own last night. It’s scary to think what this team is capable of doing.
Robert Griffin III is like a plate of Bulgogi.
You can get Bulgogi for a reasonable price over in Korea, and boy is it delicious. To all of the fantasy owners who drafted RGIII in the mid-rounds – you bought a lifetime supply of Bulgogi.
Seriously, 138 rushing yards?
Russell Wilson was as cool as an air conditioned Hyundai.
With just 1:18 remaining in the fourth quarter, Russell Wilson was able to connect with wideout Sidney Rice for a 46-yard touchdown. It may not show completely in the stat line, but Wilson outplayed Tom Brady down the stretch to secure the win for his Seahawks. I was high on Wilson at the beginning of the season as a sleeper, and think that he’s a decent play in deep leagues when he’s got a favorable matchup. Just be aware that you’re either going to get something big or something small. He’s scored as little as 1.8 standard fantasy points in a game, and as much as 25.
Wes Welker is as hot as a bowl of spicy noodles.
He caught 10 balls on 14 targets yesterday against Seattle, and now has scored double digit fantasy points each of the past four weeks. His success has been nothing short of impressive, and owners of other Patriot receivers are now shaking their heads at the change in the amount of targets going Welker’s way.
Andrew Luck was a Week 6 North Korean nuclear disaster.
After looking smart and telling people on Twitter to pick up the rookie out of Stanford when he faced the Pack during Week 5, I ate my words after he failed miserably against the Revis-less Jets. I do think Andrew Luck will be a low-end starter some weeks this season, as his schedule is nothing short of a cakewalk. If someone drops him after his Week 6 performance, snagged him right up.