The Living The Stream Glossary: Words To Tilt By
Created by friend of the podcast, Tom Whalen. Follow Tom on Twitter.
What follows is a compendium of key terms outlining the core principles and lore of the podcast Living The Stream (henceforth “LTS”), with usage guidelines when relevant. Designed both as an amusing tribute to the show for the LTS faithful and as guide for newcomers towards deciphering the show’s humor and gameplay methodology.
Short for Arby’s Restaurant Group Inc., est. 1964. The second-largest fast food sandwich chain in the United States. Home of the Angus Steak Sandwich, the Loaded Italian, the Smokehouse Brisket, and countless other calorie-intensive nondelights. Common destination for severe cases of self-loathing tilt and thus the third most frequent location search term in Denny Carter’s Google Maps after “my house” and “my wife” (see: Denny Carter’s wife). References to Arby’s in LTS parlance may indicate actual restaurant location (I blacked out after that Carson Palmer pick six and when I came to I was hitchhiking to Arby’s) or restaurant foodstuffs therein (For dinner on Sunday, I ate Arby’s while crying in the shower).
Ground zero for extreme tilt. Source of free non-nutrition and literal garbage bedsheets. Fall home of Denny Carter.
Bench your team
AKA #BenchYourTeam. LTS-endorsed fantasy gamesmanship technique, whereby a competitor benches his/her entire roster for as long as possible prior to lock time, to the bewilderment of his opponent. Perplexed, tilt-addled text messages from said opponent offer competitive edge and fodder for ridicule online.
Nefarious consortium of dentists and tooth-care bigwigs who profit by cultivating the myth that regular use of floss has tangible dental health benefits, which it does not. Sworn enemy of Denny Carter. “Big” as modifier frequently used in LTS parlance to describe similarly conspiratorial corporate entities, i.e. Big Christmas, Big IPA, Big Soda.
Blow your FAAB
Strangely lurid catchphrase to describe allocating majority of Free Agent Acquisition Budget (FAAB) on an available player. “FAAB” pronounced to rhyme with “Bob”, presumably for maximum gross-out effect.
Boy Young Boy
Imaginary boy band devised by JJ and Denny while deciphering the meaning of the “BYB” in Matt Harmon’s Twitter handle. Authors of the hypothetical hits “My Dog Charlie” and “My Dog Charlie (Part 2)”.
NFL tight end and frequent streamer target for early LTS, notable for his outrageous, semi-monastic hairstyles. Immortalized with fawning nostalgia by JJ and Denny, who talk about Carrier touchdowns of yore like they’re talking about the birth of a child.
Hypothetical high (i.e. most-productive) end of a player’s range of outcomes. A player with a “high ceiling” (with so-called “upside”) has the potential for exceptionally prolific fantasy production (see also: floor).
Grain plant (AKA “maize”) tentatively endorsed by Denny Carter as the only reasonably edible Thanksgiving meal fixture. Notable early instance of a hair-raisingly bad Denny food take, now an LTS staple.
NFL QB and cigarette smoker. Near and dear to LTS for his perpetual waiver wire availability, his famously wide range of outcomes, and the broadly apathetic vibe that makes him arguably the foremost active NFL DGAFer.
One who engages in dad running. “Dad” as modifier generally used to indicate notable lack of hipness and finesse, as with dad jokes, dad jeans, dad(dy) takes, etc. Commonly self-attributed as such by JJ, who at the time of this writing has no actual children.
Awkward running style common in NFL tight ends and quarterbacks that more resembles the efforts of a non-athlete adult flagging down the UPS driver than it does the work of an actual running athlete. Characterized by narrow gate, glacially slow speed complete with single-digit-percentile Burst Score, utter lack of flexibility and grace. Trademark style of Justin Perillo, Jason Witten, Jake Ballard, and the brothers Manning.
AKA @1stRoundQB, AKA simply “Darter”. Bizarro Denny, foremost LTS Twitter troll who aggressively endorses drafting QBs and TEs early and often. Has inspired an overwhelming barrage of parody accounts relating to Denny Carter’s Twitter account, including but not limited to Emo C.D. Carter, C.D. Vomit, C. Dog Carter, C. Dysentery Carter, and @CDCarbon13, the latter tweeting on behalf of The Simulation.
Denny Carter’s Twitter account
Denny Carter’s wife
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Acronym for Doesn’t Give A Fuck. A quality of nonchalant daredevilry, usually deployed in LTS parlance to describe quarterbacks who are prone to ill-advised downfield passes. Of interest to LTS methodology because these quarterbacks often possess high weekly ceiling for fantasy scoring. Alternately used to modify a noun (I really need some DGAF Cutler in the fourth quarter today), as noun phrase itself (Down three scores with five minutes remaining, Cutler has gone full DGAF), and as a verb (Cutler is DGAFing like we’ve never seen anyone DGAF before).
Eastern Standard Time
AKA EST. Clock-coordination setting encompassing 17 of the contiguous U.S. states, parts of eastern Canada, the state of Quintana Roo in Mexico, Panama in Central America, and the Caribbean Islands. Empirically confirmed to be the world’s only legitimate time zone.
Former NFL coach of Titans and Rams. Emblem of mediocrity, with a career regular-season winning percentage of .512. So profoundly middling that his total of 165 regular-season losses as coach doesn’t hold the all-time record but is instead merely tied. Famous in LTS circles for being visually exasperated pretty much constantly and thus supremely GIFable. Cottage industry of Jeff Fisher GIFs is JJ’s claim to semi-fame.
Hypothetical low (i.e. least-productive) end of a player’s range of outcomes. Often used to communicate relative reliability (“safety”) of a fantasy asset, with players boasting “high floors” appearing more likely to contribute some modicum of useful production, but players boasting “low floors” carrying the potential for zero or negative production (See also: ceiling).
The way that Denny Carter says “folks”, usually when preparing the haters and the losers for a dose of nihilism. Etymology unclear.
AKA “game flow”. Essentially describes how a game’s scoring margin affects subsequent play choices and thus potential fantasy scoring output. Often expressed in the binaries “positive” and “negative”, with a “positive game script” indicating a significant scoring lead and thus (at least theoretically) a conservative, ball-control-heavy approach that is good for running back production. A “negative game script” involves a scoring deficit that could lend itself to quarterback and deep-ball-receiver production, and perhaps some DGAFing.
Acronym for “greatest of all time”. Opposite of WOAT. Frequently compounded, as when addressing TyGod as “TyGOAT”.
For LTS, describes occasion of once-streamable fantasy player achieving fantasy success to a degree that increases his standard-league ownership above streaming feasibility and/or renders him an asset significantly above replacement level who should be retained on rosters rather than cut loose for a new streamer.
Shorthand for Denny Carter’s personal haircut. Maintains a reasonable cult following, mostly among Denny himself.
Gorilla famously killed by zoo officials during a child-snatching incident at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Gardens in May of 2016. Manifested in spirit before Denny Carter in an especially harrowing tilt hallucination during the 2016 LTS listener league draft.
Subset of followers to Denny Carter’s Twitter account (see also: Losers).
Also expressed as “implied team total”. Determination of Vegas oddsmakers’ total point score for NFL team in a given game, calculated by considering the point spread for that game along with the Vegas game total. For example, if the Steelers are 3-point favorites against the Ravens, and the Vegas game total is 43, Pittsburgh’s implied total is 23, and Baltimore’s is 20. Common reference point in LTS methodology for speculation on the range of outcomes for onesie positions in a given week.
AKA Alex Smith, our lord and savior. QB of dink-and-dunk vintage who, before flirting with 2017 NFL MVP eligibility and thus achieving LTS graduation, was for many years the prototypical streaming QB, a widely available high-floor play. Tendency to amass acceptable fantasy scores via extremely conservative, excruciatingly piecemeal offensive production (in effect, true to his holy name, rising from the dead on a weekly basis) makes him a Mozart of slowburn tilt and thus an LTS brand staple.
Frequently maligned football position, reserved for special scorn in mainstream fantasy circles for alleged fungibility and random output, nonetheless championed as analytical subject and tilt fodder by Denny Carter, who publicly endorses two-kicker leagues.
Gamer term for button combination that hacks bonus features (i.e., a “cheat” code), perhaps most famously in the case of the 30-lives code in the Nintendo Entertainment System game Contra. Shorthand in LTS parlance for an running quarterback’s special ability to earn points by amassing rushing yards, thus securing a high weekly floor. Usually expressed in the phrase “Konami appeal”: Kaepernick doesn’t have many weapons in the receiving corp, but his Konami appeal should make him a decent play this week.
Subset of followers to Denny Carter’s Twitter account (see also: Haters)
Fine pilsner beer sold by MillerCoors of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, endorsed by the stridently proletarian Denny Carter in opposition to Big IPA. So intrinsic to his brand that Denny wears Miller Lite promotional t-shirts while sleeping.
Worldview that rejects religious and moral principles on grounds that life as we know it is meaningless, chaotic, punctuated only by despair, confusion, and death. Plays some role in the LTS methodology–for instance, principles of chaos, overwhelming variance, and the absurdity of concrete projection are at the root of the range of outcomes principle. Nihilist diatribes are also the core content of Denny Carter’s Twitter account as well as his ongoing divorce settlement.
Commonly abbreviated as “N64”. Fifth-generation, 64-bit gaming console near and dear to 90s teens and preteens and thus to LTS. Platform for iconic, groundbreaking GoldenEye 007 first-person shooter title, as well as Mario Kart 64, aka the GOAT. Approximately 6.9% of LTS air time is spent reminiscing/debating N64 gameplay and tactics. JJ’s perilously flamboyant public endorsement of Perfect Dark over GoldenEye was one of 2016’s least essential Twitter controversies.
Also sometimes “onesie position”. LTS shorthand for fantasy football position that is traditionally afforded only one starting roster spot in standard leagues, i.e. quarterback, tight end, defense/special teams, kicker. These positions are the principal venue for The Stream.
Microeconomics term frequently deployed by LTS as core rationale for The Stream. Describes the implicit cost associated with making a value-based decision, where every element of a transaction can be put to alternate use. Relevant for LTS with respect to overvaluing onesie position players and thus misappropriating draft-day equity (early round picks are best spent accounting for position scarcity, i.e. picking an RB and WR) and roster spots (stashing a backup onesie player when so many are available on the wire exhausts the roster spots that would be better spent on scarcer RBs and WRs).
Obscure, currently unsigned NFL tight end, classically non-athletic dad runner, and LTS cause célèbre. Recorded 4.76 40-yard time is widely held in LTS circles to be fraudulent. Open invitation to footrace JJ as yet unaccepted at the time of this writing.
Economics principle turned fantasy-game-theory totem whereby the high demand for and limited supply of certain position players elevates their value. Perhaps most evident in recent seasons at RB, where injury and job turnover (combined with the standard-league requirement of at least two starters) make RBs more scarce and thus more valuable, even if they average fewer fantasy points per game than QBs.
Process over results
Gaming principle whereby analytical method of arriving at a gaming decision is considered legitimate and instructive even if the outcome of that decision in a given scoring period is less than ideal. Has achieved a mantra-like quality in LTS circles, where it is rapidly cut-and-pasted by JJ into his Twitter replies and drunkenly chanted by Denny from many an Arby’s dumpster.
Range of outcomes
Core tenant of LTS methodology, whereby speculations on a player’s value for a given week are expressed not as a fixed, expected result (i.e. as “projections”) but instead a band of probabilities, so-called “possible outcomes” (see also: floor, ceiling).
Concept popularized by baseball statistician Keith Woolner in his Value Over Replacement Player (VORP) formulation. In fantasy, replacement level refers to a hypothetical degree of production that is readily available at low cost, i.e. on the waiver wire. Relevant to LTS methodology in that position scarcity renders replacement level very low for RB and WRs, as opposed to onesie positions, which are easily replaced in standard leagues, hence The Stream.
Rise and Grind
Satirical nihilism meme on Denny Carter’s Twitter account. Immortalized in antiquated physical-media form here.
Scott, Tom Everett
Hollywood elitist, actor, and friend of LTS, perhaps best known for charmingly gazing over his sunglasses as drummer Guy Patterson in That Thing You Do. Frequently name-checked on LTS to lend the podcast showbiz gravitas. Occasional podcast guest, it would seem begrudgingly. Notable for setting LTS nation ablaze by tweeting selfie in LTS t-shirt with Emma Stone while on the set of La La Land.
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AKA “streaming”. Namesake and modus operandi of LTS. Fantasy sports gameplay methodology based on the principles of opportunity cost, replacement level, and position scarcity, whereby the waiver wire is treated as an extension of a manager’s own lineup, and fantasy starters in onesie positions are alternated week by week based on opposition matchups. (Described much more rigorously with special focus on QB here.) To “live the stream” is to abide and practice this method; a fantasy player involved in this method is a “streamer”. I’d much rather live the stream than draft the Seattle DST in the sixth round. The Bills make for a good DST streamer this week. Also commonly used as stand-alone verb: I usually stream the tight end position.
Alternately spelled “taek”. Internet and sports-media shorthand for an expression of opinion, usually concerning a publically divisive topic. (Registering an authentic take/taek on a subject that no one else cares about is rare but not impossible–see: Denny Carter’s Twitter account.) Especially inflammatory and/or contrarian takes are temperature-graded as “hot”, thanks in part to the ESPN show First Take, which popularized the term by using flamboyant, outrage-baiting discussions to manufacture content and buzz. Since co-opted self-effacingly by less sincerely pyromaniacal sports media such as LTS. That hot take about Tim Tebow being a better crunchtime QB than Aaron Rodgers has aged rather poorly. Can indeed be served cold: I know this is a cold take but I just love watching football on Thanksgiving so I can avoid interacting with my family.
Poker term for achieving an intense state of frustration and confusion due to notable divergence in expected/desired outcomes and actual outcomes, causing one to make inadvisable game/life decisions. The poker term is itself borrowed from the safeguard function of a pinball machine to freeze its flippers if a player were to attempt to “tilt” the machine to influence the path of the ball. LTS usage is in line with poker usage (the poor performance of a fantasy player, among other things, will cause one to tilt) but with more visceral, at times cosmically troubling consequences. Symptoms of tilt include but are not limited to involuntary bodily excretion, yelling at pants, mass flame-throwing of JJ’s Twitter mentions, Miller Lite-soaked retreats to Arby’s, abandonment by spouse, miserable nature walks, hallucination (see: Harambe), sudden projection into alternate worlds (see: The Upside Down). Pervasiveness of tilt gives the term phrasal malleability: works as intransitive verb (Nick Folk just missed his third field goal of the half; I’m tilting), as transitive verb (Alex Smith’s refusal to throw a pass farther than 4 yards downfield is tilting me into oblivion), as noun (Fozzy Whittaker’s vulture TD has me on serious tilt), and as noun modifier (I needed 5 PPR points from Robert Turbin; it was the most tilting Monday night of my life). Often modified itself with cause of tilt: DeMarco Murray Tilt, Stick to Sports Tilt, Starbucks Straw Tilt
Slang term for believer in a far-fetched conspiracy or myth, as when a person who believes JFK was murdered by the CIA is called a Kennedy assassination truther. Coopted in LTS parlance to refer to irrational investment in a marginal fantasy asset. Denny Carter is the world’s foremost Jared Cook truther.
AKA TyGOAT. LTS nickname for Tyrod Taylor, eminently streamable Bills QB and connoisseur of the Konami Code.
The Upside Down
Alternate reality popularized by the Netflix series Stranger Things. Identical to the actual world in geography but with cold, eerie fogginess and dangerous shape-shifting monsters. Common destination for especially dire tilt. That Carson Palmer red zone interception tilted me into The Upside Down.
Week 3 Nick Foles
Legendary LTS blunder, source of arguably the most cataclysmic and far-reaching tilt of modern record. 2015 streaming recommendation of QB Nick Foles (then of the St. Louis Rams) against the seemingly vulnerable Steelers defense, a recommendation that incurred perversely bad results (6.88 standard fantasy points) relative to expectations, inspiring a Backdraft-level heatscape of LTS-related Twitter mentions. Since treated as shorthand and measuring stick for LTS streaming missteps. Without that last-second touchdown pass, Cutler’s start would have approached Week 3 Nick Foles.
Acronym for “worst of all time”. Opposite of GOAT. Frequently compounded regardless of phonetic awkwardness, as with, say, Cam WOATten and Skip BayWOAT.
Yelling at pants
Telltale symptom of tilt. Usually involves addressing pants in the third person as if they are animate (“Bad pants!”,“I’m sorry, pants”, and so on). Traditionally occurs once pants are removed from body, though yelling at still-worn pants in cases of severe, paralyzing tilt is not uncommon.
Slang for inhabitant of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Self-attributed by JJ as rationale/apology for obnoxious public displays of Penguin, Steeler, and Pirate homerism.